The Real American Fall, When You’re Far.

I have always loved the American fall, and particularly the American way of celebrating Halloween and Thanksgiving.

I haven’t had an American Thanksgiving now (in the States) in many years, and even if I order exorbitant Stove Top stuffing from some épicerie here in France, or a can of Libby’s pumpkin filling, I can’t get things to taste the same as they did in New York. Yes, of course, in some ways things taste much better (thank you, real butter) but there’s nothing like my mom’s green bean casserole with the potato sticks sprinkled on top, made with (obviously) canned green beans and a can of Campbell’s mushroom cream soup. Maybe it needs to be made in a kitchen with the American accoutrements of a garbage disposal, etc.? Maybe, indeed.

Maybe you feel this too, even after many years here. Wherever you’re from, it takes many, many seasons to feel like the seasons are familiar. After all these years, I feel at home here, but still frustrated that kids came to my door at Halloween saying nothing (literally mute) and holding out their hands because they forgot (?!) to bring a bag along for their candy. Really??

How does one deal with this?

I will be honest; there is no way to “deal” … it is a real loss.

Though it may seem like a these are trivial things to mourn, all of them add up, from the too-good Stove Top (with real butter, it becomes a whole different entity, worthy of your local Brasserie) to the no candy corn (I know it’s disgusting, I love it), to none of the sweet, silly rituals, all of it accumulates in the psyche.

If you bob for apples in Paris, you’re quaint, and determined. Would you consider putting toilet paper on the trees of the Champs Elysées in our current political climate? Maybe not. (But it would be a cool statement, n’est-ce pas?)

All of this to say, however you (try to) celebrate the season will feel a bit overdetermined - a dogged effort to hold on to what you knew, to educate the ignorant, uninitiated French who find you annoyingly adorable, all while the whole world will work here through Thanksgiving Thursday and the whole Macy’s Day Parade without a pang.

I continue to order overpriced food from specialized American online stores (with a 70% or so mark-up), the price of my undeterred and unrefined nostalgia. Does it help? A bit.

Does it help to introduce our French family and friends to these quaint Americanisms even with their quizzical, eyebrow-raising indulgence? Maybe, though the patronizing attitude can be hard to take. (But when have the French not been patronizing about all things American?)

No answers here, and I don’t at all mean to make light of how painful it can be to go through a forced breakup with tradition. Humoring yourself, and others will help.

Begin your Stove Top (canned pumpkin, candy corn, etc.) fund early in the year is my advice; be prepared to get what you need. Sometimes nostalgia must be fed to be soothed, with the bright overly-orange fare of American fall.