PSYCHOTHERAPY
FOR CHILDREN, ADOLESCENTS
& ADULTS
What is Psychotherapy?
The goal of psychotherapy is life lived not in reaction to things, but with intention, purpose, and direction. With good psychotherapy, more energy can be freed up to be curious, autonomous, honest, tolerant, passionate, creative, and capable of intimacy, of work, and of relaxing recreation. That is invaluable and the best gift you can give yourself.
Psychotherapy is also freedom from inner chatter that is negative, self-defeating, and hypercritical. The task is to develop an inner voice that is a friend and a guide for you, helping you find and maintain the critical balance between love, work, and play.
Children
When children are having trouble psychologically, they can behave in the following ways:
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Fighting, anger and temper tantrums.
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“Regression” or reverting to a behavior such as bed-wetting or fear of the dark that they had already mastered.
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Crying, withdrawal, sadness.
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Difficulties paying attention.
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Obsessional behaviors – checking things, repetitive movements.
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Social problems, lack of friends, overwhelming shyness.
Expatriation can be difficult for children in ways that they can’t easily express. Psychotherapists use play therapy in working with children, using games and toys to gain insight into a child’s inner world. Through play therapy, a trained psychotherapist can interpret a child’s struggles and help him or her to work through situations that are painful and overwhelming.
It’s also important that parents participate in and understand their child’s psychotherapy process. I prefer to meet with parents either before meeting the child, or soon afterward, to hear their experience and history, and help them to better accompany their child's progression in treatment. This often brings families closer together, offering them a better appreciation of their shared story and its impact on each member.
Because of the nature of child psychotherapy, this work is done in the office on-site, unless circumstances make this impossible. Contact me for more information.
Adolescents
Adolescents have a difficult “job” psychologically speaking. They must learn to be separate, whole individuals without their parents, while dealing with chaotic biological and (therefore) psychical upheavals that can make them feel and behave, at times, outrageously.
Adolescents can seem, justifiably, both extremely competent and woefully immature. These years are tremendously important to their future well-being as adults. Feeling mature, confident and competent are essential to teenagers. Changing schools and languages – even if one has been on the move before- is particularly traumatic at this age.
This is why adolescents are very vulnerable psychologically, whether they come for psychotherapy or not. They need to feel they possess resources to do things themselves, but they are also easily overwhelmed by the intensity of their feelings, which can cause them to act impulsively, or paradoxically, seek to over-control themselves
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Fighting, anger and arguments.
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Low self-esteem and self-confidence.
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Disinterest in activities that they formerly loved.
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Crying, withdrawal, lack of friends.
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Difficulties paying attention, school difficulties.
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Obsessional behaviors – checking things, repetitive movements.
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Losing or gaining weight, seeming overconcerned by food, eating, and weight issues.
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Sleep issues – strange hours, not sleeping enough, sleeping a lot. (Some of this is part of the biological turmoil of adolescence…!)
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Suspicious behavior regarding alcohol or drug consumption (evasiveness, sleepiness, absenteeism or truancy)
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Overuse of a screen – video games/messaging for long periods of time.
Adolescents in psychotherapy learn to better understand themselves and their reactions to painful situations. Understanding goes a long way towards experiencing more compassion for one’s self and boosting discernment rather than acting out, which in turn helps in feeling resourceful and competent.
Parental involvement in these sessions is more limited than for sessions with children. Most teens agree to have parental sessions where I explain the therapy process, or to hear more about the child’s home life. However, adolescents need a lot of privacy, and the success of their psychotherapy depends on how well they trust their psychotherapist.
Adults
People come to psychotherapy for many reasons, but all of them have to do with suffering. Whether you’re suffering from feelings of sadness, melancholy, or anxiety, or if you’re frustrated with overeating, procrastination, or relationship issues, psychotherapy can help you to gain some clarity about your situation. Most people should have therapy at some point; we all suffer simply because life isn’t easy.
Insight oriented, psychodynamic psychotherapy aims to help you understand your “symptom” (sadness, etc.) not as something to be rid of, like a tumor, but as a sign that something in your life isn’t working. If you have noticed repetition in the ways you behave (always dating the same sort of people, or always overeating at night) or feel happy at work, sad at home, then most likely there is something occurring for you psychologically that may not be easy to identify. Just because we desire change doesn’t make it easy to change.
When we engage in repetitive patterns of thinking, feeling or behaving, there is a reason for this – a “logical” reason psychologically speaking, though this reason isn’t “logical” to our conscious minds. Why not simply eat less? Why not date better people? Why not just stop constantly worrying?
What we discover in insight-oriented psychotherapy is that you have very good reasons for the repetition. Oftentimes, these reasons began in childhood or adolescence, and continue to exert their pressure today. Once you become conscious of the subtle influences that affect your mood or behavior in daily life, it becomes easier to tolerate not repeating those things that are fundamentally hurtful. Psychological energy can be freed up for creative endeavors and more authentic relationships.
Frequently asked questions
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