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I am going to attempt to explain this in a way that’s accessible, probably over-generalized, and therefore not in-depth and satisfactory to everyone suffering – but it’s a start. Before diving in, let’s clarify that just because an illness is qualified as psychosomatic, or as having psychosomatic components, it is still absolutely real to the person experiencing it. Nothing about the psychosomatic quality of the problem means that the suffering isn’t real, or that it should b

Recently I had a session with a young man who complained of angry outbursts. He wanted them to stop. When I questioned him further, he explained his very difficult and uncomfortable situation. He had relocated to a new country three years ago as a young adult, following his parents, who had wanted the move. He didn’t speak the language, nor did his family. His current girlfriend, a native of the new country, was unsure about how much she wanted to commit to him and didn’t se

Or how psychoanalytically trained therapists listen… A friend of mine used to tell me how useless therapy was for him, because “all I would do was vent.” He would complain mostly about his spouse, his children, and the unfairness of everything. Perceived snubs, office drama, boring weekends – all of it- would be spooled out in fifty-minute diatribes that he hoped would alleviate… something, somehow. The therapists would offer unworkable solutions… (“let’s bring your wife in a

Why your therapist should not (only) be a screen...